maleficent

After four long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking, as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is some of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:

1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

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ubertuber

Sometimes you have to turn the meet over too. Sheesh.

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Cogito ergo spud -- I think, therefore I yam

maleficent

My mistake...

After four long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking, as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is some of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:

1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

A Very Important Part

7a) THE MAN FLIPS THE MEAT ON THE GRILL TO COOK THE OTHER SIDE

Important again:

7b) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Lesson Learned
12) MAN GETS NO SEX THAT EVENING...

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healer

'nuff said.

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Charlatan

That's not how it works at my house...

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

maleficent

Gawd, do I need to redo the joke to exclude Charlatan?

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Antikarma

Is it BBQ season down south? Damn it's still below zero and a few feet of snow outside.


Hey, if I put the barbeque in the bathroom, the fan should keep the smoke detector from going off? hmmmmmmmm.

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"Whoever you are, go out into the evening,
leaving your room, of which you know each bit;
your house is the last before the infinite,
whoever you are."

Acetylene

Actually at the last barbecue I put the meat on AND took it off...the men were responsible for squirting lighter fluid on things and watchign them explode.

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There's no justice. There's just us.

Boo

We BBQ all winter.

My job has additional duties. I actually have to season the meat..... salt and pepper is essential.

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Back button again, I must be getting old.

Zyr

Right, the super special, limited, collecters edition, directors cut, of the joke, made specially for Charlatan




After four long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking, as it's the only type of cooking a real man (not Charlatan) will do, probably because there is some of danger involved.

When a man (not Charlatan) volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:

1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man (still not Charlatan) who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

4) THE MAN (NOT CHARLATAN) PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man (really, it's not Charlatan) that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

A Very Important Part

7a) THE MAN (I'M SERIOUS, IT'S NOT CHARLATAN) FLIPS THE MEAT ON THE GRILL TO COOK THE OTHER SIDE

Important again:

7b) THE MAN (ANTI-CHARLATAN) TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN (DO I HAVE TO SAY IT AGAIN?) and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

11) The man (not Charlatan) asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Lesson Learned
12) MAN (CHARLATAN... NAH, I'M KIDDING, IT'S STILL NOT CHARLATAN) GETS NO SEX THAT EVENING...

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"Oh, irony! Oh, no, no, we don't get that here. See, uh, people ski topless here while smoking dope, so irony's not really a high priority. We haven't had any irony here since about, uh, '83 when I was the only practitioner of it, and I stopped because I was tired of being stared at."

Omnia mutantu, nos et mutamur in illis.
All things change, and we change with them.
- Neil Gaiman, Marvel 1602

maleficent

heh, I think charlatan's comment had something to do witht he fact that perhaps he does the shopping and all the prep work -- and does give his lovely wife the evening off - which of course means - He does get sex ... whenever he wants

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TwoToTango

So, you're not married, then.

Grasshopper Green

Haha, I'm going to have to share this with my stepmother...this is exactly how bbq's at my dad's house goes...except he also makes his killer whiskey sours and everyone mellows out

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"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king"

Formerly Medusa