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Good thread Maleficent! I'm terrible at verbally communicating with anyone close to me. I don't want to be hurt by what others may have to say, which is stupid I know. I can't control everything right? and it's another's perspective which I need to respect even if I don't agree or it hurts.
I saw a marriage counsellor once, and she was great at listening to what I had to say, but to first start listening, she knew how to prompt me to talk. That was a huge help for me, and I walked out feeling like a weight had been lifted even after just one session. I need prompting unfortunately, and as soon as someone starts on the attack (frustration, anger) I clamp up. It's almost like I can hear my inner self saying - 'fuckin just say it, get it out' but my lips are sealed shut.
One reason I can think of as to why I clam up, is because I think in the past, I've had trouble articulating what I really mean and what I'm saying gets totally misconstrued. A close friend who's the total opposite - he can talk under wet cement, keeps telling me to blurt it out. If the other person doesn't understand or is upset and takes it the wrong way, then just tell them that. For some reason though, I think they'll think 'Christ!, I've seen their reaction, so now I'm trying to backpaddle' Ironically, often easier said than done with me.
I agree I think it requires 'training'. My parents aren't the most chatty people and who better to learn from right?
But where to start ........
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ciao bella!
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