If you know finances are going to be an issue, don't do it (live together in the city). Sounds like you've taken a summary look at what the real-world living expenses might be, but if you haven't already, sit down with Ono and start costing it out in detail spreadsheet style (common, it's the nerdy thing to do, you know you want to
). Rent, food, transit, clothes, etc (it’s a long list). Perhaps get input from another party that's already paying these types of living expenses for catching the numerous costs that you might miss. Put together a real-world budget with money coming in and money going out.
Moving out on your own is a great thing, but you don't want to drown yourselves in debt trying to do it. As it has been said already, moving in with your SO is going to be a new experience all unto itself (goes smoother for some then others, but it’s always a major adjustment). Compound that with the guaranteed stress you will have if you’re facing money problems and it could really be a negative experience.
Don't factor in money you hope might come from family to help get you by either if the numbers you put together are iffy, even if you were married. Don't know anything about her parents. But the minute you take money from them for basic living expenses, you lose real independence. You might as well be playing house. And knowing many parents like this, it could turn into a control mechanism. If things do get tough (some unforeseen emergency expense for example), don't run to the parents to bail you out. You should first start by making tough choices like cutting back entertainment expenses, cable, cutting coupons, etc. If you want to take the next step, do it for real. (i.e. ratbastid’s experience)
Is it worth waiting a year or so to make that next step in your life much smoother? (if its feasible at all right now) Ultimately that's something the two of you will have to weigh and decide.
Best wishes for both of you though and good luck! Having each other in your lives at all is what’s really important. These steps in life are just stages, sharing them when you are ready no matter how soon that is, is the best part.
