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Originally Posted by Sultana
I'm sorry, but come ON. Girls who wear suggestive or revealing clothing (on an everyday basis, regardless of the appropriateness or inappropriateness [are those even words?]) are typically understood to have low self-esteem.
Of course I have to guess that you are referring to suggestive or revealing clothing. You may actually just be referring to Gucci or some other high end brand...heh.
And that particular approach, directed at a person with an eating disorder, could be one of the worst possible things to do. It would reinforce her negative self-image, which in turn would reinforce the destructive behavior. Unfortunately, one cannot simply "logic" another person out of a mental disorder. Would that it was so easy.
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I dated an anorexic for two years. I am aware that this is not the best approach for them, but the original poster did not sound like anorexia was the issue.
Yes, its true, the hottest women are the most insecure, because they feel like they have the most to 'lose'. Emotionally they require constant attention, and they wear clothes that get them noticed by men and especially other women. But women who truely have bad body image do not wear revealing clothes. The ones who hate their bodies wear baggy tshirts and sweatpants. These women would rather dissapear than be given attention about their bodies.
The ones who wear tight clothing, and yet still fish for compiments by saying "oh... im just SOOO ugly...." and then look at you for a response, need to be alerted to the fact that they are trying to get attention in an annoying destructive way. Also some think they are being virtuous by exhibiting modesty in their self hatred.
Giving her positive reinforcement for hating herself only conditions her to continue her pattern of destructive behavior.
You might want to watch her cycle, and if the self hatred tends to correspond with that time of the month, point this out to her and empathize with her for how it must feel to be overwhelmed by hormones.
Otherwise all you can do is realize that you are not in control of her emotional state, all you can do is show empathy.