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Originally Posted by yosho
Imagine the girl/guy you care about the most in your life right now, whether it's your wife or girlfriend, and now picture her fucking another guy.
That's how I feel sometimes.
Long story short, I was with a girl for 2.5 years, we broke up last summer and since then, she's had relationships with other guys. However, lately we've been getting close again and a lot of the issues we had are now gone or minimized.
My problem is that it's really painful thinking about the things we've been through, and how during our breakup, so much has happened including her getting with a few different guys.
Technically, it isn't cheating, but it still is really painful thinking about it, especially now that we're getting so close again. That's one of my biggest concerns with her at this point, I feel like I'll just end up blaming her for the breakup and accusing her of a bunch of shit because I can't get over the past.
I know that in order for things to work out between us, I'll have to let go of the past. But I honestly don't know how to do that, I feel a lot of pain whenever I think about it.
Comments suggestions? Thanks
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Once a relationship is over, it is over. With women you only get one shot per woman per lifetime. The fact that she's been with several other guys since she dumped you means that when the breakup happened she didn't have any positive romantic feelings towards you or else she would've tried to get things working back with you rather than go have sex with other guys.
The best you could do is take time to reflect on what you did wrong in that relationship, become aware of what you may have done to lower her interest in you, and then make sure you don't repeat those same mistakes in the next one.
You say you two are getting close again? Odds are she's just messing with your mind to see whether you're still gone over her or whether you've moved on. I'm willing to bet she gets off knowing you still have feelings for her, and it gives her a sense of power. If she does take you back, she'll only bring you more heartache and will dump you again.
As stickyrice advised you, go to the gym, develop new hobbies. Start your life anew and get new people in your life. Leave the past in the past.