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Then what needs to happen here is, you need to support her in getting over her feelings of failure. Those are her feelings, right? You're perfectly happy when that happens. So how is it that you're the one operating from a Psychological Condition?
She's dealing (or... not dealing) with her own insecurity here. Highly driven and successful people are almost always driven by insecurity and fears of failure. That's why they NEED to achieve so badly; to prove to themselves that they're not a failure. To be "unable" to bring her man to orgasm is just evidence for her of something she "knows" about herself.
THAT'S the conversation for you to be having with her.
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