There is a lot of response here - thankyou.
This therapist person, I should have mentioned, is a middle aged male. The general tone of posted response is that he could offer less harsh possibilities or interpretations regarding what goes on between my lady and I. I think he offered a response at all because he was addressing her feelings of disappointment/failure when I don't cum. I know medical people often follow a formula of response. They want to clear the most fatal possibilities first, then work down through from most harmful to least in dealing with a patients concern. That is what this man has done, I believe. It just sounds pretty harsh laying out there, the projective identification. I am not entirely buying it myself, but it is worth considering because it offers a clear-eyed view from an outsider, something that I as the guy in the saddle don't have.
The communication between my lady friend and I is not an issue. She is a trained communicator, and I learned the value of communication during the 25 not completely unsuccessful years I was married. I am still on pretty good terms with the ex, if that means anything. I do know I have a lot to learn in interacting with my lady, as well as about myself as a person in a position of flux. I have been sexually active for 30 years. And I am a person who is slow to recognize or cope with change. My life itself has been thoroughly changed and I am seriously considering further major uprootings involving my job, my home and my elderly parents that I am currently living with.
I guess I would feel better if I had more control over the cumming issue. If there were fewer times that it didn't happen because of some physical reason or my thoughts or whatever. I can feel badly when it happens a few times in a row. The realization that other TFPers occassionally experience the same thing is helpful. Thanks people
