Lindy

I haven't posted for a while, don't even know how long it has been. I've been where you are, visotech. I've been on both ends of that stick. I got married at eighteen to a guy nine years older. I was so much in love my heart was just bursting. Three years later we divorced. He was bright, good looking, great sense of humor, could actually talk, was a skilled and spirited lover, my family even liked him, BUT (of course there's a but..or I'd still be with such a guy, right???) even at age thirty just couldn't/wouldn't play the role of an adult. He was insanely jealous and insecure--with no reason to be either. He made good money, but was incredibly irresponsible financially--again with no reason. We could have a couple thousand in the bank, but he wouldn't get around to paying the bills 'til we had late charges and nasty letters. Would he let me--a naturally detail oriented person--pay the bills? Noooooo, of course not. He did few drugs, but drank daily and excessively. Sometimes he'd stay out all night, come home in the morning ready (and capable) for sex, so I don't think he was cheating, and the sex was the one part of the relationship that was always good.
Which was what kept me stuck on this guy even after the divorce. We really knew which buttons to push for each other. I just took time to get over him, and I don't mean to just bash my ex, but Jeez, (I bash myself here) here I was graduating from college, and still stuck on this guy that was for all practical purposes, a thirty year old high school kid. I think now (looking back) that although he said he still loved me, I was mostly convenient sex. Well, so was he. I kept putting out (hate that term) he kept coming back. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
This is getting long-winded. Anyway, his job finally took him out of town, and I started dating some of the other guys that had been asking me out. I've always had plenty of "suitors" (I have magnets on my chest) and not all of them were better, but at least they were different. My advice to help get over her?? Instead of thinking how much you miss her, just dwell on all her flaws and defects. If I'd done that, I'd have gotten over him sooner. I'm serious here--flaws are like a**holes, nipples, or armpits--everybody has 'em. You know what her's are. It might help you start to realize that somebody else might be better--or at least different.
Lindy