Jealousy. We write movies about it. We read books about it. We hear about it left and right and seem to be told as young women that it is a just and normal emotion for our sex. It has destroyed lives. It ruins days... it's no good.
Impetuous 1, thank you for being so open about your change.
I do not consider myself filled with jealousy, but I am not immune to its occasional, and often disturbing, visits. When I step back and take a moment to view things rationally, I realize that there is no reason behind the emotion. Irrational thought breeds personal insecurity, which brings on the frustration of jealousy.
If you have tried many ways on your own, as you have said, I think that seeing a counselor about it may be a good option. You want to see a change, and you see that it most likely comes from within rather than the current boyfriend situation. These are glimpses of rationality and contentment.
If you do decide to fight through the emotion without counseling, remember that change is a long process. Be prepared to wait six months to a year to see any sort of abiding peace.
Just remember: don't beat yourself up over it.
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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq
"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy
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