Once again, thanks for your responses - it's very insightful to get a view on this from a male perspective.
He is more than a good guy, he is one of the most amazing people I have ever met, a true one-in-a-million and I cannot believe my luck that the likes of him would even take two minutes to bear - even listen to - my yapping.
At the risk of sounding like a cop-out, I don't know if I am interested in him. I guess the obvious response to that is that, if you don't know, you're not interested, but it isn't as simple as that to me. When we first got to know each other, he was like any other friend really, and after I broke up with my ex, I was looking for some kind of rebound or something, and fortunately before I managed to do anything too rash or stupid, he stopped my clumsy advances and instead gave me a friendship which didn't demand anything in return. In the process, I guess he filled the real need I had for acceptance without seeking it through superficial or sexual means, which I guess is a good thing.
I have definitely entertained the idea of us as a couple and like the idea a lot, but because he had made it clear that he wasn't interested romantically, I tried to put it out of my mind (and quietly looked at other men as options instead, at the risk of sounding like some kind of raving horny woman - though I guess that's probably not far from the truth). Now, our relationship is just so... "comfortable" is the best word I can think of. I constantly find myself wishing my next relationship has what we have, where it doesn't matter what my hair's like, if I've put on a few pounds, if I accidentally lose control of my more embarrassing bodily functions, where it almost feels like I could do the stupidest thing ever, and fall big-time, and he would just wait patiently, hand outstretched to help me up.
Do I look at him now and want to rip his clothes off? Probably not, but I do wonder if that's because I've not allowed myself to go down that road. I get the feeling he'd probably be a fantastic, selfless lover, who leaves his partner giddy and unable to walk after sex.
Would it be too cheesy for me to suggest that our relationship is like that of a close brother and little sister? I thought of this today and it does kind of explain not wanting to know the details of my dating life. It's kind of too much information to a brother.
As is probably obvious from all this so far, I'm not the most secure of people... and although I have certainly come a long way in the past several months, I really don't feel I deserve a guy like him. I have painfully glaring flaws obvious to anyone who's known me for any period of time, and I see him with a really beautiful, intelligent, stable, super-caring, charismatic woman with inhuman integrity. Hence, I don't think we are meant for each other outside the realm of being friends.
(oh, and btw, that will be one hell of a lucky bitch)
I know I should talk to him, I know it is the only way to find out what is really going on, but I am terrified. I am terrified that it will change anything, and I will lose the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's a cliche that women use the excuse of not wanting to lose a friendship, but it is absolutely true and if he were to tell me tomorrow that he didn't want to hear from me again... I don't even want to think about thinking about it.
I'm really sorry about my incessant ramblings, I guess I have a lot going through my mind at the moment and it's really not all that organised up here.
p/s: what are intimacy issues?