|
If you're looking for empty barrels or cardboard boxes, just go for a high speed drive through your city's alleyways and side streets. They're filled with them and are unavoidable.
Kitchen tables make for effective bullet shields
Nothing good can ever, ever happen to you in the bathroom - Don't ever pull aside a closed shower curtain, have a shower with a see-through curtain, take a bath with your eyes closed, or take your eyes off the bathroom mirror for even a second; especially when washing your face in the sink. Never open and close the mirrored medicine cabinet.
A large amount of money that has been lost or stolen, will always be missed.
No matter how stressful or perilous the situation, time can always be made for sex.
Flying out of the country with a fake passport is easily accomplished.
All labratories are naturally bathed in a rich blue, amber or green light.
Don't think your car can successfully jump that gap? You'd be wrong.
It turns out the true love you were looking for, was your best friend all along.
College is nothing more than a chance to out-prank your enemies. This, and getting laid, are the most important reasons to go.
A single bullet is all you need to trigger an explosion.
All rich guys are vindictive snobs who hate you and desperately need to prove it.
Short husky guys just can't get a break.
Open dumpsters make for cushy landing pads.
When ordering a beer at the bar, just ask for "a beer". You'll get what you want.
Pitch black, really isn't.
When asking a girl out on a date, don't worry about when, where, or how you'll meet. Just say: "I'll see you then."
Before you hang up the phone, it's best to pause and take a look at the handset.
The girl you really want, is the one in glasses with her hair tied up.
Radioactive waste gives you super powers, not cancer.
The crotchety old professer who is giving you a hard time, actually cares about you most of all. Unless of course, he is trying to steal your brilliant and revolutionary thesis.
If you just believe in yourself, everything is possible.
__________________
Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life
|