abaya

Charlatan, you are awesome. I love hearing about relationships like yours... and I hope that ktspktsp and I will be seducing each other over wine and cheese (among other things) for many years to come. I also enjoyed hearing about Ratbastid's parents... You give us hope!

Meanwhile, as to the question at hand: I learned mostly what NOT to do from my parents, who were in fact never married (well, my mom and stepdad, after my genetic dad died before I was born) and had conflict with each other pretty much every day that I can remember. There were a few happy days in there, but otherwise... yeah. They never really taught me anything directly, and if they tried, I usually tried as hard as I could to ignore it (e.g. Mom telling me to hate men, etc).

I spent my whole life absorbing unhealthy habits from my family, and for the last few years have been working damn hard to get them out from under my skin before they do any more damage. It helps to have a wonderful, patient partner who loves me through it all (something my parents didn't show me).

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran