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Originally Posted by Acetylene
But, if you are feeling suspicious, I'd actually say go ahead and read the history. The reason why I say this is, you need to set your mind at ease. If you read it and find that no, it didn't happen, then you will never bring it up again and you can go on being happy together. Why harass her and accuse her lying to you when it might not have happened? This is unnecessary stress on your relationship.
On the other hand, if you do find evidence, then you will confront her NOT about the history, but about the pop-up you accidentally witnessed. That way, you get the best of both worlds: either you find out she is innocent and you feel ashamed for distrusting her and life goes on, or you confront her just like you would have done anyway.
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It is very possible to bring this up in a way that is non-confrontational and non-accusatory and not stressful on the relationship at all. I don't understand how a successful relationship can be built on snooping around about each other. This screams of communication and trust issues.
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Originally Posted by aintyoboyfriend
My real question is, suppose I found out that she lied and did send them, where do I go from there. I'm torn between it being a stupid mistake on her part, or a serious sign that this relationship is in trouble.
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The best advice I can give is the same as the rest of some of the other people in here, communication. She told you she sent some a long time ago, if you believe her: case closed. If you don't believe her: your relationship is already in trouble. From the sounds of this sentence I'm inclined to believe you don't think that she was being honest. If you did you would not have any reason to still suspect she is lying, unless there is more to the issue you have not told us yet. If there is nothing you haven't told us, why don't you believe that she is telling the truth? There appears to be a real trust issue here that I think needs to be examined with you two. If you can't trust her, why bother trying to save a relationship with someone you can't trust? Trust, to me, is the most important thing in a relationship.
I would ask her why she didn't come clean about it until you brought up the message, this might at least clear your head a little bit so that you can trust that she is telling the truth. It could be something as simple as she didn't think you meant from before you were together when you asked the first time.