Quote:
|
Originally Posted by braisler
Explore sexual options that don't involve direct intercourse if that is an option. As the higher drive partner, you have to know that your level of sexual desire is ok for you. You are not wrong in wanting what you want. As the lower drive partner you have to recognize that, while is ok for you to not want sex as often/much as your partner, you still need to find a way to work it out with them.
It is a rough road either way. The lower desire partner always controls the amount of sex in the relationship (with exception of extreme cases of forced intercourse). It is a subject of much discussion in our relationship too. Lately I have been laying off asking about it/for it. She has noticed too. It is not that I don't want it, but that I don't want to have to ask for it or initiate the contact. Wanting to be wanted is an important part of our sexual dialogue.
|
I'm finding that to be my feeling on the subject as well. My partner voiced the thought that since he knows I like sex that I'll probably be happy to get some even if he initiates at one of the few times of day when I'm least likely to be interested.
Lol, differing levels of need and differing prefered times for intimacy make for a rough road. The thought that I have to beg for sex is an instant turnoff to me. I'd rather just take care of my own needs.
What puzzles me about these sitations is that in most cases the lower drive partner would go nuts if the higher drive partner went outside the relationship to get some of their needs met. Lol, it's sort of like, " you almost never want to be with me, you don't want me but you'll go wild if somebody else does ? "
Humans are strange creatures
