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xim · 03-19-2006, 09:29 PM

It's sunday, my 21st is tuesday, so my parents came to town to take me out to eat. My ex called me right as we were walking in and I didn't answer it. I have so many mixed feelings, or Im confused or something...

Background info:
I *was* of those loser guys who always falls in love and gets emotionally destroyed.
We dated for off and on for about a year. Then she basicly ended it and I hung around as her wussy friend for a year or so. We stop talking for a while, then start talking again. Shes all flirty and touching me. Then invites me to hang out with her and her new date. I call her and let her know that I don't want to have anything to do with her ever again. (actually I said everything short of "I hope your skin burns and your soul boils in the blackest dispairity of hell" and didn't let her get a word in edgewise) So we havent talked for about a month and a half.

I dont want to talk to her. I grit my teeth thinking about her. I was really mean to her on the phone last time we talked because I worked up enough hate to get her out of my life. I was worried for a few days afterwards that I would regret it. But I didn't and I still don't. I'm on the verge of a relationship breakthrough. I'm about to be 21. Going out to bars and hooking up will be my new hobby. I am planning out next week and starting my first post casey relationship. And she calls me now... ...it is my birthday. I cant decide if I should call her back.

If I did talk to her I would want to tell her
"You don't know me anymore. The person you knew no longer walks on this planet. The little wussy bitch you 0wned is dead now. I learned some lessons from dating you. I should have learned it with jennifer but I didn't. I learned that for a girl, getting you to fall in love with her is her game. Once a man falls in love the game is over and her interest goes right down the drain. Thats why the game was over with me and lisa before it even started. I will never make that mistake and fall in love with someone again. I was so naive at the beginning of our relationship. All I cared about was making you happy. I thought, if I can make a girl happy by putting her needs before my own, she will be happy with me. You being happy was more important to me than protecting my own status and ego or even be being happy myself. So again and again I would let myself be this little bitch submitting to you in everyway thinking its what you wanted. Now I know that women are like children, they push and push and test to find their boundries and if you never put them in their place to show them boundaries they will walk all over you like a doormat and then dump you for being a pussy. Then they flex their post-game muscles by trying to keep you around as a 'friend' and put your nuts in a jar by their feet for as long as possible. I don't hate women for being this way, i'm accepting that thats how they are. It was my own niave optimism and idealism that caused my pain, not some bitchy choice you made. I can't change the nature of women, all I can do now is adapt to protect myself from it. I'm done with monogomy and I will never fall in love again. NEVER NEVER EVER EVER FUCKING EVER WILL I EVER FUCKING FALL IN LOVE EVER AGAIN. And If I ever do catch myself in love again, thats the signal that it's time to break up and move on. When I said I didn't want to be friends I was serious. You probly thought you should call me and say happy birthday. You probably forgot that I dont want to be your friend, and that wishing someone a happy birthday is a thing friends do. People who aren't friends dont wish each other happy birthday, they dont speak to each other. Does that guy john that beat you up in highschool call you and wish you a happy birthday? No. And would you be happy to hear from him if he did?

I wish we could be friends. But when I think of you and your feminist manhating all I can do is grind my teeth"

So yeah thats what I want to say If I talk to her on the phone. I'm pretty resentful obviously. Not very productive. I really don't want to hurt her and I have nothing nice to say. I guess I'll just sleep on it

03-19-2006, 09:29 PM	#1 (permalink)
xim Insane Location: One with the Universe	My ex called It's sunday, my 21st is tuesday, so my parents came to town to take me out to eat. My ex called me right as we were walking in and I didn't answer it. I have so many mixed feelings, or Im confused or something... Background info: I was of those loser guys who always falls in love and gets emotionally destroyed. We dated for off and on for about a year. Then she basicly ended it and I hung around as her wussy friend for a year or so. We stop talking for a while, then start talking again. Shes all flirty and touching me. Then invites me to hang out with her and her new date. I call her and let her know that I don't want to have anything to do with her ever again. (actually I said everything short of "I hope your skin burns and your soul boils in the blackest dispairity of hell" and didn't let her get a word in edgewise) So we havent talked for about a month and a half. I dont want to talk to her. I grit my teeth thinking about her. I was really mean to her on the phone last time we talked because I worked up enough hate to get her out of my life. I was worried for a few days afterwards that I would regret it. But I didn't and I still don't. I'm on the verge of a relationship breakthrough. I'm about to be 21. Going out to bars and hooking up will be my new hobby. I am planning out next week and starting my first post casey relationship. And she calls me now... ...it is my birthday. I cant decide if I should call her back. If I did talk to her I would want to tell her "You don't know me anymore. The person you knew no longer walks on this planet. The little wussy bitch you 0wned is dead now. I learned some lessons from dating you. I should have learned it with jennifer but I didn't. I learned that for a girl, getting you to fall in love with her is her game. Once a man falls in love the game is over and her interest goes right down the drain. Thats why the game was over with me and lisa before it even started. I will never make that mistake and fall in love with someone again. I was so naive at the beginning of our relationship. All I cared about was making you happy. I thought, if I can make a girl happy by putting her needs before my own, she will be happy with me. You being happy was more important to me than protecting my own status and ego or even be being happy myself. So again and again I would let myself be this little bitch submitting to you in everyway thinking its what you wanted. Now I know that women are like children, they push and push and test to find their boundries and if you never put them in their place to show them boundaries they will walk all over you like a doormat and then dump you for being a pussy. Then they flex their post-game muscles by trying to keep you around as a 'friend' and put your nuts in a jar by their feet for as long as possible. I don't hate women for being this way, i'm accepting that thats how they are. It was my own niave optimism and idealism that caused my pain, not some bitchy choice you made. I can't change the nature of women, all I can do now is adapt to protect myself from it. I'm done with monogomy and I will never fall in love again. NEVER NEVER EVER EVER FUCKING EVER WILL I EVER FUCKING FALL IN LOVE EVER AGAIN. And If I ever do catch myself in love again, thats the signal that it's time to break up and move on. When I said I didn't want to be friends I was serious. You probly thought you should call me and say happy birthday. You probably forgot that I dont want to be your friend, and that wishing someone a happy birthday is a thing friends do. People who aren't friends dont wish each other happy birthday, they dont speak to each other. Does that guy john that beat you up in highschool call you and wish you a happy birthday? No. And would you be happy to hear from him if he did? I wish we could be friends. But when I think of you and your feminist manhating all I can do is grind my teeth" So yeah thats what I want to say If I talk to her on the phone. I'm pretty resentful obviously. Not very productive. I really don't want to hurt her and I have nothing nice to say. I guess I'll just sleep on it __________________ If I could be anyone in the world I would be Britney Spears. Shes in so many commercials about pepsi... www.ximcity.com Last edited by xim; 03-19-2006 at 09:55 PM..