Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Proof that Custard Invented The Universe.

nezmot · 03-09-2006, 02:23 AM

Some more proof that Custard invented the universe. ALL religions tell us that Custard is the supreme truth - remember all of these things have been written down in books. You can't argue with words. Remember all these things are scientific facts. About miracles.

1) Jesus said that everything was made of sweet dairy Custard. When he said he was 'The Lamb of God', what he actually said was that Custard made everything in its own bowl. Out of Hammers.

2) In the bible it says: 1 Kings 6:31 "For the entrance of the inner sanctuary he made doors of olive wood with five-sided jambs." 5-sided jams! Miraculous. Normally jams only has 3 sides, but thanks to the miracles of Custard, lo, there were 5.

3) From the Qu'ran: "The Bee 1. [16.66] And most surely there is a lesson for you in the cattle; We give you to drink of what is in their bellies-- from betwixt the feces and the blood-- pure milk, easy and agreeable to swallow for those who drink." Here we see the first of the great 'Custard Ingredients' texts. Note the timeless wisdom of going between the feces and the blood for milk - a primary ingredient of Custard (remember not to make Custard out of feces or blood, a this is not allowable by law).

4) "The Rangers 1. [37.49] As if they were eggs carefully protected." - Here eggs are mentioned - another proof that Custard is the creator of existance - NOT science!

5) "Muhammad 1. [47.15] A parable of the garden which those guarding (against evil) are promised: Therein are rivers of water that does not alter, and rivers of milk the taste whereof does not change, and rivers of drink delicious to those who drink, and rivers of honey clarified and for them therein are all fruits and protection from their Lord. (Are these) like those who abide in the fire and who are made to drink boiling water so it rends their bowels asunder." Here the Qu'ran mentions honey, and cleverly points out the dangers of drinking boiling fluids. Honey is what sugar was before spoons were invented - another primary ingredient of Custard - Will miracles never cease!

6) In the Buddhist Dhammapada, it states "Like fresh milk a bad deed does not turn at once. It follows a fool scorching him like a smouldering fire." - pointing out the dangers of using old milk.

7) From the Bible Judges 13:25: "and the Spirit of the LORD began to stir him while he was in Mahaneh Dan, between Zorah and Eshtaol." telling us to stir the mixture, until it reaches 'Mahaneh Dan', an ancient term meaning a consistancy somewhere in between 'Zorah' (an old word meaning 'runny') and 'Eshtaol' (an even more ancient word meaning 'thick enough to ensnare a goat')

8) From the Qu'ran: "The Clans 1. [33.53] O you who believe! do not enter the houses of the Prophet unless permission is given to you for a meal, not waiting for its cooking being finished-- but when you are invited, enter, and when you have taken the food, then disperse-- not seeking to listen to talk;" Once the Custard has been made, you should eat it in silence, out of respect. Why respect Custard if it did not create the universe?

So by now, you must have realised that not only does science prove Custard, but so does Christianity, Islam, Buddism, Judaism, and all the other religions. If you don't it's because you've not understood all that's been written. Why don't you read it again. Remember it's been written down. And if you still don't understand, try to remind yourself that your brain has invisible custard in it, which only goes to prove everything that's been said is true.

03-09-2006, 02:23 AM	#11 (permalink)
nezmot Registered User	Some more proof that Custard invented the universe. ALL religions tell us that Custard is the supreme truth - remember all of these things have been written down in books. You can't argue with words. Remember all these things are scientific facts. About miracles. 1) Jesus said that everything was made of sweet dairy Custard. When he said he was 'The Lamb of God', what he actually said was that Custard made everything in its own bowl. Out of Hammers. 2) In the bible it says: 1 Kings 6:31 "For the entrance of the inner sanctuary he made doors of olive wood with five-sided jambs." 5-sided jams! Miraculous. Normally jams only has 3 sides, but thanks to the miracles of Custard, lo, there were 5. 3) From the Qu'ran: "The Bee 1. [16.66] And most surely there is a lesson for you in the cattle; We give you to drink of what is in their bellies-- from betwixt the feces and the blood-- pure milk, easy and agreeable to swallow for those who drink." Here we see the first of the great 'Custard Ingredients' texts. Note the timeless wisdom of going between the feces and the blood for milk - a primary ingredient of Custard (remember not to make Custard out of feces or blood, a this is not allowable by law). 4) "The Rangers 1. [37.49] As if they were eggs carefully protected." - Here eggs are mentioned - another proof that Custard is the creator of existance - NOT science! 5) "Muhammad 1. [47.15] A parable of the garden which those guarding (against evil) are promised: Therein are rivers of water that does not alter, and rivers of milk the taste whereof does not change, and rivers of drink delicious to those who drink, and rivers of honey clarified and for them therein are all fruits and protection from their Lord. (Are these) like those who abide in the fire and who are made to drink boiling water so it rends their bowels asunder." Here the Qu'ran mentions honey, and cleverly points out the dangers of drinking boiling fluids. Honey is what sugar was before spoons were invented - another primary ingredient of Custard - Will miracles never cease! 6) In the Buddhist Dhammapada, it states "Like fresh milk a bad deed does not turn at once. It follows a fool scorching him like a smouldering fire." - pointing out the dangers of using old milk. 7) From the Bible Judges 13:25: "and the Spirit of the LORD began to stir him while he was in Mahaneh Dan, between Zorah and Eshtaol." telling us to stir the mixture, until it reaches 'Mahaneh Dan', an ancient term meaning a consistancy somewhere in between 'Zorah' (an old word meaning 'runny') and 'Eshtaol' (an even more ancient word meaning 'thick enough to ensnare a goat') 8) From the Qu'ran: "The Clans 1. [33.53] O you who believe! do not enter the houses of the Prophet unless permission is given to you for a meal, not waiting for its cooking being finished-- but when you are invited, enter, and when you have taken the food, then disperse-- not seeking to listen to talk;" Once the Custard has been made, you should eat it in silence, out of respect. Why respect Custard if it did not create the universe? So by now, you must have realised that not only does science prove Custard, but so does Christianity, Islam, Buddism, Judaism, and all the other religions. If you don't it's because you've not understood all that's been written. Why don't you read it again. Remember it's been written down. And if you still don't understand, try to remind yourself that your brain has invisible custard in it, which only goes to prove everything that's been said is true.