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More astounding facts:
10) Science tells us that Newton invented gravity, or to be more precise, Newton invented good gravity (Hitler later came up with the theory of 'bad' gravity sometime in the summer of 1934). But what Science doesn't tell us is that Custard is a 'Non-Newtonian' liquid, which means that not only does it not obey Newton's (or Hitler's) laws of Gravity, but under certain conditions, it behaves more like a solid. A believer can walk across a swimming-pool full of custard and not fall in. This is because Custard is the inventor of the universe. Imagine that! A swimming-pool FULL of custard!
11) Science also tells us that honey comes from bees. This is a lie. It's been proven by science that Jam comes from bees (witness the famous Guatamalan Jam Bee) and honey is actually produced by wasps. Lemon Curd is blasphemous and should never be mentioned, much less depicted in mime. Marmite comes from eggs. This is fact.
12) Evolution tells us that everything should have curled up and died by now because it's so complicated. This proves that evolution is lies. Custard made evolution backwards, which is why time is like an arrow that only goes in straight lines.
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