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Originally Posted by thelifeandtimes
So here is my dilemma, what should I do with this now? Should I still be there for her? I don't plan on waiting around for her to get her life together, but is that the right choice? Please help me on this, anything will do because at this point I am beyond confused. Thank you for reading my wall of text.
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the following is only the opinion of a very widdle pigglet
You asked several questions, I'll give you several pieces of advice. What should you do now? Should you wait around on her?
No. As the above wise ones have said, not really a good idea. That doesn't mean something couldn't work out down the road, but for now I think you should just let it be. For a number of reasons, but the chief one is that she doesn't want to be in the relationship - she sounds like she has some real committment issues. And that's completely ok at 18. That's ok at any stage of life, for that matter. I think you should take some time and deal with this, and then move on.
Should you still be there for her? Well, I'm the kind of guy who says yes...but first you have to set your boundaries. What are you comfortable with? What types of interactions? Stay within those boundaries...but I personally don't believe that the person you loved yesterday is substantially different than the person she is today. You've learned something new about her - but from what you've said it wasn't malicious and she's not trying to hurt you. I think that's somone you can, at some point at least, still be close to. You may need some time away from her (you probably will); especially if she is seeing other people. Avoiding her in order to protect your emotions is not the same as giving up on her. If she cares about you, I think she should understand if you have to do that. That's also easier said than done...and yes, not to pull the old man card, but it would have been much harder for me to do in high school. Of course, in high school, you can't really avoid her anyways...so you're going to need to come to terms with this at some point regardless. Give yourself time; you'll figure it out.