This is a very serious topic and I have no real experience or advice I can share.
But it seems like if you started talking to this girl, your life would go topsy-turvy, and would you really want that. I mean, you may not 'be happy' now, but that doesn't mean you'll be happier just by doing this. You'll probably end up much more unhappier.
Besides, I think it would be be really disrespectful to your wife, unless you discussed this with her.
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