I would first run for school board. Then build a coalition of supporters to gather steam for state office. One my network is in place, I'll be ready for a run at the senate. I'll give speeches that start with humurous self-deprecation and end with strong statements only weirdos wouldn't believe in. Such as, "well, my girth may tell you that I buy one too many pudding cups, but unlike my opponent I'm not going to let those folks down in Warshington tell you what you can and cannot buy at the grocery store!"
I'll be a good pick for VP in 2020. After the unfortunate demise of the president
, I will then strenghten our relationship with a ecnomically depressed country full of nationalistic crazies. I don't think Germany will fall for that again, so I'll target Bosnia. Once I get them stirred up into a frenzy, they'll do all the crap work - deposing their leader, the killing, the mass burials etc.
Then I'll quietly pass on in my bunker with a nose full of coke and my hand down a hooker's pants.