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Just wrote a long reply, got logged out, so now it's lost.
To summarize: I mean you no harm. I am not the person/people who harmed you in the past. You are not the guy in my situation (unless by some freaky chance!). We are some random people on an internet forum. Therefore, while I appreciate your insight and input from "his" side of things, please do not assume that I don't know what I'm doing, that I am somehow callous to the hurt I have caused. You don't know me. I know the pain I am causing, very much. That is why it took me so very long to decide my path (remember, ten years).
Btw, I have been "cut off" myself, in the past. I called those other people bitches and bastards and seethed in righteous anger for a long time. But I eventually got over it and realized that those people did what they had to do; that our friendship/relationship had expired, and I did not see it fully then. I hold no grudge against those people in my past, now. In fact, now that I have had to do the ending, I have more compassion for the people who "ended" me. I know that to some people, I will be an asshole. I wanted to know what people thought, on TFP, when I was doubting for a short while. But I know I would have made the same decision even if everyone told me not to; it was what I needed to do.
And I said "too bad" because I cannot be responsible for this person's reaction. I have to be "cold" because otherwise, I compromise my own integrity and doubt everything that I am. And I have sworn to myself that I will no longer do that.
I stand by my decision.
__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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