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Originally Posted by abaya
I have to say, this behavior-discussion did not come out of the blue. Since they were engaged/got married, I brought up twice in a non-confrontational manner (probably not firm enough, which is why I said I wasn't good at boundaries) that it was weird to be flirting like that in front of his wife.
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That's not a request to stop the behavior. I really don't have much sympathy for your situation.
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Originally Posted by abaya
I am not sure if I want a friendship with him, and it's not just the sexual flirting and whatnot. I didn't like how they cut off her whole family in the wedding. They have both been in all kinds of therapy for years (individual, group, couples), and everything they say feels like it's conditioned by therapy. Now, I am a fan of therapy, but I don't like it when I feel like someone is analyzing every word I say and the whole thing feels forced.
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No offense meant, but how they cut off her family has nothing to do with you. At all.
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Originally Posted by abaya
Maybe these are the deeper issues under the friendship that I could not see, and the flirting discomfort is only the surface. I don't know how to communicate those things to someone, though. Why do I have to do that?
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You have to do that because you let the behaviour go on without directly asking for it to stop. Instead, you built resentment and then exploded on a very confused person. I think this has handled terribly by you. If I were in his place, I'd be extremely hurt and confused. At the very least, you should offer some explainations with direct language.
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Originally Posted by abaya
Has anyone else had to explicitly tell someone WHY you don't want to be around them anymore??
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Yes, I've done that once. The person was told that a paticular action (making reservations\plans\saying they would be somewhere, then failing to show up or call) was interpeted by me as a blatent show of disrespect. The person was told multiple times. When it happened yet another time, I told them that I no longer wished to associate with them because of that constant behaviour.
If you have arguements against what I've said, I really want to hear them. The post was kinda harsh, but that's because I think you handled the situation poorly. I still love you though.
