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Originally Posted by Supple Cow
A wise friend once told me that you teach people how to interact with you - that you can train people the same way you can train dogs. Reward them for appropriate behavior and don't let them get away with inappropriate behavior. Don't feel obligated to return his calls or emails right away. Don't feel obligated to make dates to hang out with him/them as often as he wants. Do only what you are comfortable with, and eventually, he will have to adapt to your idea of positive interactions or he will have to cope with you not being around for his version.
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yeah, what she said...pluses what martinguerre said before.
i've been in these kinds of positions abaya, and i have a feeling some of my old friends have been through this with me being on the end of your friend. not for the same reasons ( i don't think ), but just because people change.
I think it sounds like the energy you're going to have to expend in order to cut off all communication could be equally as large as the effort it would take to reignite the relationship. plus, you want your dvds and other trinkets. but if you simply don't expend much effort to maintain the relationship, it'll sort of work itself out i'm betting. sitting around talking about why you do or don't want to continue it for extended periods of time will be a de facto continuation of the relationship. if this guy really wants to follow up on what's going on, then maybe a controlled email exchange or a phone call could be beneficial to both of y'all. after that...if you don't live in the same town, and you don't make an effort to continue the friendship...
i've also seen situations where clearing of the air gave birth to a new friendship, on different terms, where everyone was happy. usually less contact slowly fading to none...but not always. regardless, you can't force a friendship, and if it's meant to end it will.