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Update, don't know how this will affect advice:
I've been completely out of it on pain killers, but now that I can find the keyboard again...
She called back and said that she was sorry, and that she hadn't realized that visiting me did not require her to leave her parents early (they need her for medical reasons, believe me) and that of course she would come. So now I feel like it's OK again. Perhaps we need to work on our communication.
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