Shades

Long story short, I'm going to cut and paste from the journal. I'm too lazy to retype it, and anyway can't think of anything better to say. Here it is in a nutshell. Actually, here it is in text on a screen, but I'm sure we all understand. I changed her name.

What has me all pissed off at the moment is Annie. I haven't seen her in a week, barring a few terse moments for graduation. By the time the surgery is over, it will have been two weeks. By the time i get back to Austin, it will have been three weeks. So I say to myself, ask Annie to come visit for a day or two. I'm sure she'll come, I bet she misses me as much as I miss her. And like every other assumption I've made in my long and glorious life, I was wrong. She won't come. Not even if she gets her schedule fixed well before when I will be coming back. She has a 6 day window, between the Tuesday she gets to Austin and when I return to Austin. It won't take that long to get a schedlule fix. I've done this numerous times in more difficult settings- taking a grad course as an undergrad, taking an undergrad course in another college as a grad student, and getting my entire schedule replaced one fine semester when it all vanished two days before the semester started. And yet, when it was Christmas break, and she asked me to come up, I ditched friends and family to see her. I was only too happy to do so, and I would do so again. But I don't rate leaving an empty apartment. Great. At least now I have a better idea where I stand. I don't care what she meant, at this particular moment, I only know that I feel like I'm out of site, out of mind. The exact quote was "I guess I don't feel the same urgency you do." I can't really add anything to that.

So anyway, my question is, what's my next move? Just be pissed about it and let it go away? Have it out with her? Or what? I want to add that I am in the same major as her in college, so I wasn't comparing apples to oranges.

Slims

What next move? let her either come visit, or make it up to you in a suitable fashion. Think of it as a loyalty test.

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"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

Mondak

Communication is always the key. Speak to her about what she is thinking. Not in a way that forces her to justify what she is doing. Instead, try to get at her feelings on the subject.

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All truth passes through three stages:
First it is ridiculed
Second, it is violently opposed and
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.

ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER (1788-1860)

justadude

get used to it or move on...i'm in the same situation you are...totally digging my g/f right now, but she's leaving for good in 5 mths and doesn't want to "commit" to anything although she says i'm someone she "could fall in love with"....basically same tortured soul i think as what you're sayin...is it worth it?

i'm starting to think not

(sorry no advice, but i felt the need to rant after reading your post...goddamn women...can't live with 'em and can't shoot 'em!)

Leander

Ditch her. If she plays these games now and you fall for them like a sucker, it will only get worse.
Been there, done that and burned the tee shirt a long time ago.

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Just me and God, watching Scotty die..

BBtB

I would say first follow Mondaks advice and if that dosn't work then go with Leander. I mean give her a chance to explain her actions but most likely she wont change.

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Meridae'n once played "death" at a game of chess that lasted for over two years. He finally beat death in a best 34 out of 67 match. At that time he could ask for any one thing and he could wish for the hope of all mankind... he looked death right in the eye and said ...

"I would like about three fiddy"

HFrankenstein

Plain and simple: your girlfriend doesn't care about you as much as you care about her. I'm sure you'd love to see things work out, and I'm sure all of your friends are telling you exactly what you want to hear on that ("Just hang in there! She'll come around!"). Fact is, she's unwilling to compromise. She's unfit to be a girlfriend.

Break up with her. Now.

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When in doubt, sauerkraut.

Shades

Update, don't know how this will affect advice:

I've been completely out of it on pain killers, but now that I can find the keyboard again...

She called back and said that she was sorry, and that she hadn't realized that visiting me did not require her to leave her parents early (they need her for medical reasons, believe me) and that of course she would come. So now I feel like it's OK again. Perhaps we need to work on our communication.

yournamehere

Heh heh - join the club.

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It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.