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I have found myself in your situation more than once in my 23+ years of marriage. My wife and I have seemingly spent years living apart together, and I have felt frustration and some strong attractions toward other women, and plenty of opportunity. Basically, you are feeling lustful, but neglected at home. Something had to attract you to your wife, initially. Somewhere at home, those qualities still exist. You aren't letting yourself see them right now.
My suggestion is: start being sexually aggressive toward your wife, even if you have to FORCE yourself to do it. Make gentle, passionate love to her, even if you have to think of the young girl from work while you do it. Your wife should respond by starting to give back to you some of the attention she's been spending on the children.
They call what you are going through the "7 year itch" for very good reasons. If you learn how to get through this without tearing your family apart, you have a good chance of growing old and enjoying your grandchildren together. That may not seem like a worthwhile goal at the age of thirty, but you'll regret not trying.
Good Luck on your decision.
grumpy
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"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard
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