Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Attacked by the Green Monster last night(not VD related lol)

AClassicGirl1 · 02-13-2006, 01:54 AM

*disclosure: I started typing all this prior to reading every post and discovering that you already had a very good chat with her! AWESOME! I like your girlfriend. Sounds like me. Although I still wouldn't hang out with some guy if my BF was at all uncomfortable with him. But if it works... thank God. Think you guys have something really good going. I'm going to go ahead and post anyway... maybe someone else will find it useful*

From a girl's point of view...

NO girl is THAT oblivious to a guy putting THAT serious of moves on her. If some guy was rubbing on my knee, or any other body part, offering massages, inviting me out alone, calling me... showering me with attention and time... I would KNOW what he was out to get. ANY girl does. Even your girl. Trust me.

My guess is that she likes the attention. She likes being the object of his desire. She likes feeling attractive and special. Sorry, this is probably a sock in the gut, but it's true. I'm not saying that you are not providing enough for her, you are obviously involved and attentive and deeply in love with her. I think she is expressing her needs to you without actually coming out and telling you forthright.

What I do appreciate about your girlfriend is that it doesn't seem that she is being secretive about his advances... I hate to play the devil's advocate here but I really doubt she is telling you every explicit detail about their conversations - you must consider the worst in a situation like this - that guy is very manipulative. I'm sure that he tells her all SORTS of romantic things and she just doesn't have the heart to tell you. He's a RAT! You don't bother with a man or woman that is already in a happy relationship!!! He's playing her friend and he's just trying to get in her pants. My bet is that she is nothing but a challenge to him - if he ever gets her, he'll disappear. Where are all her guy friends during all this? Shouldn't they be intercepting and showing her just what a terd Daniel is?? What are guy friends there for? They're supposed to be like your big brothers!!!

I KNOW that she knows what's going on. Why she's doing it? That's another story. Is she trying to let you know without coming out and saying it that she wants to be physically closer to you - she wants a convienient boyfriend that can be with her a couple times a week? Is she testing you to see if you are willing to step up your commitment and claim her for your own?

My advice is based upon what I would want to hear from my guy. I would expect him to tell me flat out that he's thinking that this guy is just trying to get in my pants (something that she already knows, for sure) and is that what I want, and if not, then he's wondering just why it is that I am spending time with Daniel. That Daniel sees me as a conquest. I'd expect him to give some clues to open my eyes to Daniel's intentions and that it HURTS my boyfriend that I'm allowing this to happen, and that although he loves and trusts me, staying clear of those with questionable motives is fundamental for a lasting relationship. Remember this guy is manipulative and will be there to comfort her if you come across the wrong way. It's important not to sound desperate or demanding during this - express your love and your tenderness and your genuine concern about the damage that that dork Daniel has the potential to wreak on your relationship. If you haven't already, now's the time to discuss your future together.

By the way, I'm in a similar relationship - by boyfriend and I are in a LDR - we see each other about every 3 or 4 weeks - and we are very deeply in love.

Good luck do you!! Seriously.

-Lis

02-13-2006, 01:54 AM	#23 (permalink)
AClassicGirl1 Upright	disclosure: I started typing all this prior to reading every post and discovering that you already had a very good chat with her! AWESOME! I like your girlfriend. Sounds like me. Although I still wouldn't hang out with some guy if my BF was at all uncomfortable with him. But if it works... thank God. Think you guys have something really good going. I'm going to go ahead and post anyway... maybe someone else will find it useful From a girl's point of view... NO girl is THAT oblivious to a guy putting THAT serious of moves on her. If some guy was rubbing on my knee, or any other body part, offering massages, inviting me out alone, calling me... showering me with attention and time... I would KNOW what he was out to get. ANY girl does. Even your girl. Trust me. My guess is that she likes the attention. She likes being the object of his desire. She likes feeling attractive and special. Sorry, this is probably a sock in the gut, but it's true. I'm not saying that you are not providing enough for her, you are obviously involved and attentive and deeply in love with her. I think she is expressing her needs to you without actually coming out and telling you forthright. What I do appreciate about your girlfriend is that it doesn't seem that she is being secretive about his advances... I hate to play the devil's advocate here but I really doubt she is telling you every explicit detail about their conversations - you must consider the worst in a situation like this - that guy is very manipulative. I'm sure that he tells her all SORTS of romantic things and she just doesn't have the heart to tell you. He's a RAT! You don't bother with a man or woman that is already in a happy relationship!!! He's playing her friend and he's just trying to get in her pants. My bet is that she is nothing but a challenge to him - if he ever gets her, he'll disappear. Where are all her guy friends during all this? Shouldn't they be intercepting and showing her just what a terd Daniel is?? What are guy friends there for? They're supposed to be like your big brothers!!! I KNOW that she knows what's going on. Why she's doing it? That's another story. Is she trying to let you know without coming out and saying it that she wants to be physically closer to you - she wants a convienient boyfriend that can be with her a couple times a week? Is she testing you to see if you are willing to step up your commitment and claim her for your own? My advice is based upon what I would want to hear from my guy. I would expect him to tell me flat out that he's thinking that this guy is just trying to get in my pants (something that she already knows, for sure) and is that what I want, and if not, then he's wondering just why it is that I am spending time with Daniel. That Daniel sees me as a conquest. I'd expect him to give some clues to open my eyes to Daniel's intentions and that it HURTS my boyfriend that I'm allowing this to happen, and that although he loves and trusts me, staying clear of those with questionable motives is fundamental for a lasting relationship. Remember this guy is manipulative and will be there to comfort her if you come across the wrong way. It's important not to sound desperate or demanding during this - express your love and your tenderness and your genuine concern about the damage that that dork Daniel has the potential to wreak on your relationship. If you haven't already, now's the time to discuss your future together. By the way, I'm in a similar relationship - by boyfriend and I are in a LDR - we see each other about every 3 or 4 weeks - and we are very deeply in love. Good luck do you!! Seriously. -Lis Last edited by AClassicGirl1; 02-13-2006 at 02:02 AM..