02-07-2006, 01:05 PM
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#21 (permalink)
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Getting Medieval on your ass
Location: 13th century Europe
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Vaporware: Better Late Than Never
Quote:
Ladies and gents, welcome to the 2005 Vaporware Awards -- the prize that celebrates the tech products that were promised last year but never delivered.
We have a few surprises this year -- wait 'til you find out the winner; you'll never guess what it is.
A number of products were nominated by only one reader, like the Kinetta Camera (which is apparently now shipping), or SBC's combo satellite TV/internet video service.
On the other hand, lots of people voted for Microsoft's Xbox 360. But even though it was in short supply, it's not strictly vaporware.
Lots of votes were cast for the nifty-looking Optimus keyboard -- a configurable keyboard with a little screen on each key to denote its function. Developed by a Russian design studio, it looked too good to be true, which is one of the classic makings of vaporware -- except for one thing: The company said it'll ship in 2006. A candidate for this year, perhaps?
Several wags nominated our vaporware story itself for an award. Yeah, we know it's late. Apologies for that. But we never promised it in 2005, so it wasn't eligible anyway.
Likewise, the PowerBook G5 is also ineligible. Apple may have occasionally hinted at it, but it never promised a ship date.
So, enough rambling. Without further ado, we give you the 2005 Vaporware Awards, in reverse order:
10. High-def TiVo and TiVoToGo for Mac
9. AlphaGrip ergonomic keyboard/trackball
8. Blu-ray or HD-DVD discs
7. Team Fortress 2: Brotherhood of Arms
6. Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
5. StarCraft Ghost
4. Microsoft's Vista and Internet Explorer 7
3. Google -- betas galore
2. Phantom Game Service
1. Duke Nukem Forever
It's back! By popular demand, the winner of the 2005 Vaporware Awards is 3D Realms' Duke Nukem Forever, the loooooooooooooong-awaited sequel to its popular Duke Nukem game.
What else could we do? Readers overwhelmingly voted the MIA title the vaporware champion.
The game came second in the 2000 Vaporware Awards, and won in 2001 and 2002. In 2003 we gave it a Lifetime Achievement Award, just to get it off the list.
But incredibly, the company says it's still in development -- nearly nine years after it was first announced. The official release date is "when it's done," according to the company's website.
Reader Greg Gemignani wrote: "Announced in 1997 and promised every year since, this game takes vaporware to new heights. Think about it, in just 13 months this game will have been in one form of development or another for a decade. This project started with a game based on the Quake 2 engine, then in 1999 it moved to the Unreal engine and has been stalled ever since. The 3D Realms site still lists it as the first game on its products page, the site still claims it will be released, and the FAQ on the game was updated early this year. Shouldn't Duke Nukem Forever get some place of honor for maintaining vaporware status for nearly a decade, particularly in the fast-paced market of FPS video games?"
Reader Tomas Björklund asked: "What other product can really compete with a product that was supposed to come out last millennium?!"
And reader Robert Danzinger said: "It's been in development for almost a fucking decade now. Give 3D Realms a medal or something."
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Check out the link above for more detail on entries 2-10.
And yes, I am patiently awaiting TF2 and the Optimus keyboard.
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