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Originally Posted by willravel
When my daughter becomes computer literate (a year or two from now), she will be restricted to one media hour a day (now she has 3, all programming approved by my wife and I). If she earns it, she can have more (up to 2). This media is TV, DVD, internet, or games. She can listen to music as long as she wants. I know enough about Mac OS to know if she's checking out porn online. When I see the signs (including but not limited to deleted history), we will have the birds and the bees conversation. Included in this conversation will be proper behavior with pornography - what is and isn't taboo, what is dangerous, what is antisocial, what is dangerous - and masturbation - how often is normal, everyone does it, taboo conversation for public, etc. After this, I will have to trust her.
There is only so much a parent can do without becoming a tyrant.
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http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/htm...8_faull04.html
I found this article today, and if my parents were to take any action, it would be the advice in the article. Take away the computer, put it in a common area, throw away magazines, etc... The problem with that approach is the psychological damage done to the child. They will grow up thinking sex is wrong, bad, and not normal. Plus the parents come out looking like controlling fascists, and the kid will never be able to talk to them about any sexual problem. And will wind up posting about it on some Internet message board.
Talking about it openly is the best policy, but isn't easy. For me, looking at porn isn't the real problem, it is a symptom of a much larger problem. I didn't have much self-esteem or confidence in my teens at all. Basically from being unhappy with the way I looked, not having any money, and spending my free time golfing or working on computers, I never was able to interact positively with girls. Should my parents have helped me out more by getting me to do stuff to make me more attractive (ie. eat more, lift weights, have cosmetic surgery?, I did have braces but those didn't help much). Or should they have done nothing and let me figure it on my own? I went from weighing 120 lbs at 18 to weighing 155lbs at 26 (I'm 5'10"), and I didn't put on the 'freshman 15'. I think I gained 5 lbs a year for 6 years. What role do parents play in the weight of their child though? Should they feed them a lot, give them weight-gainer shakes, get a prescription for testosterone? I guess I got off on a tangent there, but the basic question is "What role do parents play in ensuring their child's mental health will be good?" If they can see that there is a problem, how far should the parent go to fixing it? Would you do something, like buy a nice car, schedule cosmetic surgery or tell your child they need gain/lose weight to be more successful and popular? Or is it all up to the kid to make the most with what they've got?
Back to the Internet porn thing… I think I would have this to say. Looking at porn too much and becoming addicted to it hampers your ability to learn how to form relationships with real girls your age. Yes, porn won’t reject you, and is accepting of your faults, but the lessons you learn when you are a teenager will help you later in life. Almost everyone looks at it once in awhile, but there is a time and place to do so. And if it is causing any problems in your life or relationships, you might need to do something about it.