Lovie

I dated *Seph* for over a year. We started dating two summers ago, before I left for Kansas State University. We decided to stay together, as he is going to North Carolina State University. Our love for each other blossomed over the year that we were apart. We saw each other at every opportunity, all breaks and even occassional weekends. During the spring semester I decided to transfer to NCSU so that we could be together. I could not bare another year apart from him. I ended up being accepted however my parents refused to let me go to school with him. So I decided to live at home, 4 hours away from Seph, work and take community college classes. I was very unhappy and took a lot of it out on him. Our relationship was strained and eventually he told me he wanted to break up.

I was devastated by this. That weekend, I ended up going to down to see other friends, but he was there. He told me that he missed me, but he couldn't be with me now. He said to date other people, but not sleep with them. I guess I took this as a positive sign, now I realize it was nothing.

Over the last semester I would go down and see everyone, him included. We would end up sleeping together, I know, very bad. Before Christmas I went down again. Seph and I ended up getting in a big fight. I left with the intention of never talking to him again, online or in person. He told me a couple days after the fight that he didn't think we could be friends. I took this because I had to. All of Winter break, we did not talk. I thought about him all the time, but I was getting better. I was able to be my own person and have fun, although he was still the first person I thought of when something bad happened.

Despite us breaking up, I was not going to let him interfere with my education. I transfered to NCSU as planned. My first week here, he left me three messages online. I did not respond to any of them. I was not sure what was going on. That weekend, I went to dinner and he was there. He came up to me and said, why are you avoiding me? I said I wasn't, even though I kinda was. He then said that he really did miss me and missed hanging out like we used to. And then our sleeping together pattern started again.

We go through this now. He calls when he wants to talk, and I answer and talk away. Apparently there are other girls "after" him. I do not want to be one of five girls. I want him to miss me and want to be with me. But I am beginning to think that is never going to happen. Am I supposed to move on? How does a long distance relationship work and then fall apart? I am confused and devastated. Any thoughts would be appreciated. (I'm sorry this is so long too.)