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Ahh... reading this sort of post brings back old pain, and old shame. It sounds like you like your life, it sounds like you have a support network, it sounds like she doesn't. I am in the UK right now, and let me tell you, going to another country can have radical effects and inspire immense changes in people, even when it's going to a country as closely-related as the UK and US.
If you don't like where you were and who you were there, and you go abroad, you're given the chance to start fresh. Nobody knows you, save for the fact that you're from a cool different country, and you get to shape what other people think and know of you completely. If you weren't happy at home, you tend to forget things and adopt things from your new culture to replace it. I'm sure she didn't mean to replace you, but some other parts of her personality that she swapped seems to have created an interface and compatibility problem with you.
You can't stop her from changing, any attempt to do so will just make the wound larger, and the pain more powerful. You can't tell her it's wrong, you can't remind her of what used to be, or of old promises. The past has been forgotten, or rather, ejected to make room for the new. It hurts, but it's far better than the intense jealousy that comes with hanging on.
I know how much it sucks... I know what it is to not be confident, and finally meet somebody who works for you, who you love, and not be able to make it work. Just be careful, because as she changes--for better or worse--there's a real possibility that it will change you too, and not in a good way, because you seem to be fairly happy with who you are at the moment. Don't jeopardize that self-content, because it's hard to get back.
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I'm swimming in the digital residue of a media-drenched world. It's too cold.
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