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Originally Posted by Charlatan
I have started to talk to my son about it. He is 11 and on the Internet. For now, all his time spent on line is at the dining room table in my clear line of sight. -snip- Part of the conversation is as Mal suggests above, talk about what porn is and how it differs from reality. -snip- The best thing to do is provide a solid example of how to treat the opposite sex. I do this everyday. -snip- On top of this, his mother also reinforces a lot of this in her chats with him... after all it's both of us raising the guy, not just me.
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Charlatan, you and your wife are one hell of a child-raising team. Great to hear about parents who are taking their job very seriously and being pro-active about sex education.
I also think it is VERY wise to have the only internet-ready computer in a public place, such as the dining room or living room. No computers in bedrooms... that is just asking for it, especially once the door is closed and lights are off. Of course, he will probably end up getting it from friends later, anyway... but I assume the temptation to look at porn (or at least to get addicted to it) decreases once one's parents have completely covered the reality of sex and there are few "forbidden" aspects to it.
I think it is less about controlling the porn and more about educating the child in every other way... making sure he is a well-rounded person, has lots of friends, involved in many activities and feels confident in himself no matter what... and of course, that his parents model a strong and respectful relationship. That takes a lot of work on the parents' part... but I think that's what being a parent is all about. I think shit really hits the fan when a kid becomes an adolescent and his parents have been too passive all along... and their own kid falls through the cracks. If you are spending lots of quality time with your kid, being a very active and integrating family, there will just be no time to look at porn... at least, I hope that's how it is.
But I'm not a boy, so I don't know what the temptations are like (I didn't see my first porn till I was well into my 20s!)...