ASU2003

Leto, that is an interesting approach. My Dad didn't know what a router was until I bought them a wireless one at age 24. He definitely doesn't know what port numbers are. And, I would have been able to get around your security setup, I would either plug directly into the router using a different hard drive/linux liveCD(those didn't exist back then) or, I would have reset the router and set it up myself. The only way to stop me would have been to physically keep me from the hardware. But, I had nothing else to do with my time, which brings me to the next item.

I can take a guess, I have major psychological problems from childhood on to today. I have low self esteem, low confidence, no conversation skills and social anxiety. Even though I am not the most attractive person, I would say I look good. However at 14-20, I had problems with how I looked(braces, mild acne, bad haircut, 100-130lbs, weird ears). There is also the fact that 90% of my family, friends and cousins marry the first person they go out on a date with. So, when a cute girl tells the entire 6th grade class that she likes me, I am thinking I don't want to go out with her until I am older because there is no way a relationship would last that long. I don't want to get hurt or hurt her by breaking up. I have never taken any chances at risking rejection, therefore, I have never asked a girl out, unless I knew 99.99999% that she would go out with me and the relationship would work. Porn girls never reject you, and it is easy to find exactly what you want.

The other part is obsessive compulsive stuff. I haven't even looked at half of the stuff I have downloaded, but it is perfectly organized by type.

I should have go into therapy and had help fixing my life at age 13, not 23. There is a lot more as well, no sexual abuse though...

I would think that porn will play much less of a role if I ever did get friends that are girls or a girlfriend. I played a lot of race car video games from age 10-15, but since I started driving a real car, I haven't played a race car video game yet. I would have to figure what I would do with the stuff I have.

Which brings me to:

I don't know what happens if a girl says "no" to some request I make. I wouldn't force it, but maybe ‘disappointed’ would describe what I would feel. I don’t know what to do after that. I'm not big into oral, anal or any other non-standard sex though. I think porn only shows some of what really happens, and what real sex is like is much different. I watch amateur stuff half of the time, so they aren't all 18-year old skinny white blondes. But, as a virgin, I would know the same amount about what real sex as a young virgin teenage couple. I know the mechanics of it (learned at 18 from a porn video), and I do know that some guys have foreskins. The one part it has skewed my viewpoint a little how much a girl weighs. However, I did have an attraction to skinny girls prior to porn (I was skinny). But, I am in shape now and I'll admit, I'm a little more judgmental than most people. But this is because I feel my friends and family will judge me based on how good looking my girlfriend is (race & age included). This is because I never could do anything good enough growing up. Even if I did something right, it could have been done better. The fact that sex and relationships was never ever discussed, there was no divorce, religious morals and the role of females growing up set my views on sex to this day much more than porn. I did learn that gays and lesbians existed at 17, the concept of a threesome at 18, swingers and group sex around 19, and people would have sex for money without ever meeting the guy. Now it is even easier to find porn on the Internet, so I might have been able to get hardcore stuff earlier.