I really do understand why people get married... because when you realize what's in the dating pool... it's just safer to go with that which sort of doesn't drive you crazy...
One more from the memory banks of me... (it's no wonder I've been in the massive dry spell I've been in - -clearly I'm cursed...
This was a one date wonder: This was a one date wonder... I was living in NYC at the time, I think he lived somewhere in NJ, and we decided to meet for drinks and dinner. He drove into the city. He parked his car on the street, and walked into the bar where I was waiting. (he never bothered to check the parking sign on the street) He circles the bar a few times, looking for a better offer I suppose... he sits down next to me and proceeds, in the course of an hour, down 6 jack and cokes... he stands up and tells me he's gonna go take a whiz (classy) and walks into a wall... backs up and trips over a guy who was standing near the wall and goes splat on the floor.
I do all I can to not laugh... and he goes to go potty...
He comes out and says we should leave... gets the check and tells me I owe him something like 25 dollars for the bill (he split it in half, I had one glass of wine, he had 6 drinks at that point - expensive glass of wine)ok - no dinner for mallie poo... OK I says.. I walk out with him, and ask him where he parked.. Now I'm a little concerned about him driving, because he's pretty tanked... and suggest that maybe we want to stop in the cafe across the street
No he says, he's going home, unless I wanted to take him home to my place... (Now, i'm actually considering this because he's in no condition to drive, and I'd feel really bad if he killed someone on the way home - hell he'd probably sue me)
I say, let's go for a walk and talk for a little bit... and pull his arm - he puts his arm around my waist, under my coat and proceeds to grope my butt... his hand starts to wander and tries to go under my skirt... Ummm Nope...
I ask him where he's parked - and we head in that direction... His car isn't there...I ask him -- are you sure you parked there.. yes, he said right under that sign. Ummm -t he one that says Tow Away Zone? he then starts cussing...
Now at this point I should just cut my losses and leave... but I was way too nice then... and got in a cab with him and head to to the tow yard... fighting him off in the cab the entire time...
We get to the tow yard... and he's charged something like 200 bucks to get his car out of storage... now meanwhile the tow guy is looking at him suspiciously, knowing full well that he's tanked.. this adventure hasn't sobered him up at all.. Mr Charm tells me that since it's my fault he got towed (my fault???) I should pay at least half... At this point, i would have had sex with him to end this date... I gave him 100 bucks... (whcih is a lot of money now, but back then.. it was a ton of money.. my spending money for the week) I had about 20 dollars left-- which I had earmarked for a cab fo rm e to go home..
While we are waiting, he notices another couple waiting to get their car. A very well dressed black man and his blonde girlfriend... well - dude doesn't like this - and proceeds to tell the man what he thinks of him dating not his own kind... I was appalled... and I couldn't get him to shut up -- there is nothing worse than an obnoxious, loudmouthed, racist drunk... he was a cartoon character...
he gets his car out of storage.. and looks at me and tells me to get in - -I say, no that's ok, i'm tired and I'm going home... He then gets this evil look in his eye and says after all this bullshit tonite, i don't get any? I walk over -- kiss him on the forehead... and miracle of miracles - a cab pulls up and i jump in and head home..
the story ends - I find out by way of answering machine messages that I never returned... he pulls out of the tow yard... scratches the back of his car on a fence, almost hits another car, and he gets stopped by a black cop (only he had more choice words) and then proceeds to get arrested for drunk driving... Oooops...