Control Freak/SadistMy first boyfriend - I was 18, had never dated before, and it was my first week at college and first time away from home for more than a week of camp. My girlfriend who I'd known before and was going to the same college set me up with this guy. He was obsessed with the martial arts, D&D, heavy metal music and Satanism. He spent all his time doing or listening to those things. He was a control freak and extremely manipulative. I must say that at least I learned some martial arts from him and how to defend myself from jerks like that. Mom said I turned into a different person. My parents came at the end of the semester and packed up my stuff and made me come home. He kept calling me, telling me to run away, but refusing to help me at all. Belittling me and pestering me. Now I can't believe I took it back then. I eventually broke away from him and it felt oh so good. I burned all the stuff he'd given me. For the longest time afterwards I would have panic attacks if I heard certain heavy metal songs and a few other things that reminded me of him.
I have to blame my parents partly for the situation because Mom was a control freak and when I was left hanging alone at a college, cut off from that control, I automatically sought out someone else to control me. In a way I was primed to be his pawn.
The Drifter
Then I got engaged to a deaf/hard-of-hearing guy. I was 19 at that time and he was 29. He was very set in his ways, lazy, and greedy. His Dad was super rich but this guy had learned that because of his disability he could live off the government and never work. He'd get jobs but they'd last a month before he'd quit because it was just too stressful. His philosophy was, 'why buy anything if you can't have the best'. He said it often. He also had some quirks that I've found other deaf people have. Those I could live with. I couldn't live with his laziness, greed and how set in his ways he was. But that was partly because of his age and living single all that time. So finally he got this idea in his head that we should have some time apart, not speaking, not writing, no contact for about a week. Two weeks later there was still no contact. So I called him, got my ear chewed off for calling him before he was ready to talk, and hung up on. I called him back immediately after to tell him not to bother to call me again. Last I heard he'd bought property, started building a house, sold it half finished, went back to college for a year, then moved back home with his parents. Still drifting and lazy and SINGLE.
The Little Boy
Then - 3rd boyfriend - This fellow was 2 years younger than me. I was a Senior in college and he was cute and funny and goofy. We dated for one semester. Went home to our respective familes for Christmas and then came back for second semester. I called him and his roommates said he was out (even though I KNOW I heard his voice in the background). I waited till the next morning at breakfast, lunch, no sign of him yet. Found him at supper and went to talk to him. He acted like he didn't know me. He refused to talk to me. Finally I called him and he said "His parents didn't want him to date me." Could he have had the decency to at least tell me to my face? - No. For the next 2 weeks I messed with him. I'd be super friendly one day, the next day I'd walk into him in the hall by 'accident' and knock his books out of his hands and then glare at him. Finally he stopped me and asked me what my problem was - I TOLD him.
That was my entire dating experience. How fun. Now I'm with hubby and not about to change it.
