I commend you getting the gusto to speak to him. I know it must have been hard. Hell I have trouble talking to my relatives about less serious concerns.
It is sad that he opted to just pull away from the family rather than help his wife through her own issues. Like everyone else has said, you've done all you can do.
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The hardest thing is to be honest with yourself, especially if that means completely redefining the world you've come to know.
Don't look too hard, I'm right in front of you.
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