Rodney

Of course it's all going to depend on the kid; some are more mature, or less, for their ages. But as a general rule, I disagree with a few of these.

5 - don't leave the house for even five minutes, unless they're napping. I've worked with kinders. Five minutes is an eternity. If there's a responsible seven or eight-year-old around, okay.

7 - okay to duck next door for a few minutes.

10 - Okay to leave them at home alone for 15-20 minutes? Iffy. I'd park them with a neighbor. 11, maybe. There can be a huge difference between 10 and 11 mentally, and I'm not just talking puberty. There's a point in there where the brain just goes "ding" and starts operating on a higher level.

11-12 - latchkey safe; okay to stay home alone after school, to stay home alone from church, etc. Not okay for longer periods than 1-2 hours, and definitely not in the evening. You can say, "no friends," but the only thing you can do to really stop it is to limit their home-alone times to times where friends aren't likely to want to/be free to come over.

15 - Leave them alone for the afternoon and evening. I'd still call at least once, though. And maybe a time or two plan to come home earlier than you told them. It's always good to reassess their responsibility from time to time. Of course, if you think they're doping, or have been, they don't get this freedom.

18 -- Old enough to have opinions, responsibility, and personal freedom. But not old enough to challenge house rules. This is where they have to realize that if they want things different that the way you allow them, they have to go out and make their own way instead of living rent-free and having meals cooked for them. Amazing how some of them calm down when they make the connection. I knew a guy who helped his rebellious 19-year-old "make the connection" by throwing all his possessions out onto the front lawn. Of course he was welcome to come back -- and did -- if he kept the rules (which amounted to keeping his room clean and picking up his clothes).