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Tiptoeing is not going to solve the problem. I would bring it up when all of you are together and just the adults. You, your wife, him and his wife. Just say that she was being disrespectful and that you and your wife would like to know where the problem or solution lies. If she blows up again, I would focus on talking to your brother and expain that if she (his wife) continues to do this then you might have to be less familar with them. If both of them cannot be respectful then there's no point in you being there. They have no room in your life if they can't respect you maybe in time he'll understand how you feel and try to mend things. I wish you the best of luck and hope this doesn't happen again.
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