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Originally Posted by fallsauce
Why would you even mention it if you weren't going to invite them? That's rather inconsiderate.
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Well, if somebody asks me what I'm doing this weekend, I'm going to tell them -- even if my plans don't include them. Should I lie? What kind of a friend would that make me? The person who asks deserves an honest answer.
Should a person ask to be invited along? Certainly, but like Sultana said: with manners, giving the other person an "out." "That sounds like fun; is that a private party, or can anyone come?" "Well, it's my other friend's party, and he's just inviting us old high school friends.." "Well, have a great time!"
Asking that way is polite, because you allow the possibility that there are things that the other guy needn't invite you to.
But to just say, "Sounds great, can I come?" is rude, because you're making the other guy do all the social work of turning you down and explaining why. By asking the question, you're saying, "I want to come, and I don't understand why you'd ever turn me down. And I'm your friend -- right?" You've just set up the possibility that the conversation can turn sticky if you don't get what you want. And of course that pressures the other guy to give in. And there a lot of people who, consciously or unconsciously, use this as a tactic for getting what they want.