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Originally Posted by cellophanedeity
Holy crap... I had no idea that the guys in this forum were so brutal!
Tell your friend how you feel as honestly and as least pathetically as you can. Leave out the "love at first sight" and "you're the one" stuff, 'cause as a chick, that's not as much sweet as it is terrifying.
If she say's "you're just a friend" or something along those lines, let it be and get on with it. I know from experience that great friends can develop even after love interest has been destroyed if the people are honest and don't harbour feelings of resentment or even worse, keep up with the "I love you!" stuff.
Best of luck man, you'll need it.
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Wow, I totally disagree with this.
If you tell her how you feel right now, there will be an almost garaunteed rejection. You're her lap dog, she doesn't want or need you, and currently she's
not attracted to you, or you'd be in an actual relationship by now.
Look, you have the comfort and security part of a relationship down solid. If you're dating a girl she'll know she's safe (bored) and comfortable (bored) with you. What you need to work on is attraction. Girls don't think with logic, they think with emotion. I've seen girls go through hell and back for "love". Those other comfort and security qualities come later after you've developed that attraction.
Basically what you've given her is... everything. She doesn't have to earn any of it. You've told her through your actions that you have very little value compared to her. I bet she sees you like a puppy wanting to please it's owner. It's not a quality that's attractive. Put yourself on equal or higher standing with her. When you buy her a gift, give her your undivided attention, laugh at her every joke even when it's not funny, roll over whenever she is angry, etc. you validate her, tell her she's better. You can't have a healthy relationship if you're the only one who compromises.
I believe if you want a chance with this girl, stop putting her on a pedestal. You're just as good a person as she is, deserve just as much love and affection.
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I got her my old TV, telephone, gave her bedding, movies and anything else she needed for her first week becuase she didnt have much. Since then Ive taken her wherever she needed to go for groceries, to the mall, whatever just so I could spend those precious few minutes with her. Ive even taken my whole lunch break at work to drive over to her dorm and bring her a coffee when she was tired from studying all night for a midterm. Its just the type of guy I am I guess.
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If that's the kind of guy you are, how would you feel if she never allowed you to give her any of this sort of thing? That you got rejected every time you did something nice? What if she never even gave you the opportunity to do something nice? It feels good to give, but you need someone to take what's given freely. You've got to take a little too, if only to return the favor.
Because you aren't interested in "taking" and enjoy giving, she's just accepted it for what it is and lets you give her whatever you want. She has no reason to give in return. You have to start calling in some favors from her, return your relationship to an even playing field, stop acting like she's somehow unattainable, and believe in your own self worth. This isn't advice to get the girl, this is advice to improve your life. Respect yourself, man. You're every bit as good as the people around you.