CityOfAngels

You speak the truth.

I've actually made that same promise to myself, but it's a hard habit to kick. Thing is I think too much. I think a lot actually. I figured I might be an introvert but someone here suspected that such is not the case. I really don't know why I get the way I do.

Generally speaking, I don't like to talk about it that much because I always feel like I'm putting my burdens on someone else. Because of that, it just builds up inside of me until I start going insane. It just kicks up a vicious cycle because I'm very unpleasant at that stage (over-defensive and paranoid), and I end up distancing myself from everyone even more; which in turn makes everything worse.

Maybe that's what I need to do in order to start making effective changes for my community: kick this depression. It's always been my philosophy that if you can't help yourself, you can't help others. Thing is it's been a hypocritical philosophy for me. I see changes that need to be made, and I want to catalyze it; but I guess I just have to accept that in my current state, I am not at my best of abilities to be trying that sort of thing. That in itself depresses me, though.

Vicious cycles, I tell ya.

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The words "love" and "life" go together. It is almost as if they are one. You must love to live, and you must live to love, or you have never lived nor loved at all.