I missed out a rather important point. She suggested pool. We did talk about pool the other night and she said she was decent...and I said I liked pool, so, I guess that's why she suggested it. I had merely suggested coffee on the phone!
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Originally Posted by Poppinjay
If she's bored with something, layoff it. You don't always have to be doing something, especially if it's something you like, but you don't know if she does. She may have been impressed with your pool skills, but its unlikely that she considers it a positive for a relationship. By her comment about just chilling, it sounds like, "if he's gonna drag me to a pool hall for dates, I need to keep him in the friend zone."
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Yeah as I said that comment does have me worried...but it's only a deal breaker, so to speak, if I don't follow ben's advice....
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Originally Posted by BigBen
Dude, you are in like Flynn.
To ensure that you are not relegated to the 8th level of hell (the Friend Zone), you must ensure that the next time you see her that you tell her that you are ATTRACTED TO HER, and want the RELATIONSHIP TO CONTINUE, to "See where things lead."
Don't beat around the bush. Don't think that she can read your mind and body language. You must come out and say it, soon, or the road may turn to Friendsville, population: YOU.
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Agreed. I sort of did before she left on her bus. She asked me what I was doing for the rest of the night, and I said I was meeting friends at the pub...an hour ago (didn't realise that the time had passed), and she responded with something like "oh really you should have told me I didn't know", as if she was taking up too much of my time or it was her fault, and I said I see them all the time and that I'd rather spend it with her anyway, but "don't tell them that". But you're right, I definitely need to make it clear to her what I want. I might be seeing her tonight (nye), although things are complicated because I have to work. Also, I think I'll ask her if she wants to come round to my house next week...or would that be too soon?
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Don't over-analyze women, and don't play things cool. Don't wait for her to make the first move. Get in there.
/Ben takes off his coach whistle, pours himself a scotch...
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Agreed. And yeah, I should always try and analyse any interaction I have with girls from an outsider's perspective...
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Originally Posted by DonovanDuVal
I think that pool is a problem because at the very beginning of the relationship you are competing.
Try having a shorter date over just coffee where you just talk to her, look in her eyes and smile, and hold her hand, or whatever feels right at the time. Don't think about doing these things, that'll make you seem awkward, just do them.
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You're right, even though it was her idea, I should have just said coffee, and should have told her about having to meet friends at the pub at 6.30. But, looking into her eyes and smiling, which made her either laugh or smile or both, was an integral part of both "dates", so at least I'm doing something right!
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Originally Posted by DonovanDuVal
These might seem like 'player' type tactics, but they also offer a common sense approach to keeping the relationship on track in the early stages. Anyway just a few things that you might want to consider.
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Don't worry, they don't seem like that to me. They're only player tactics if you have the intentions of a player. Othwerwise they're just methods of not fucking up and looking like an idiot imo.
Thanks a lot for the advice guys. I lack experience and have only in the last year or so started feeling comfortable with myself, but with a bit of luck and some handy advice I should be able to give the appearance of actually having a clue. Hah!