Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Hooray for social ineptitude and/or anxiety!

Hat · 12-30-2005, 01:29 AM

I met a girl on Christmas night at a party. It went really well and we didn't leave each other's company until we were outside of her house at 7am the next morning. She volunteered her number. Great. Okay I've tried to write this post twice and it keeps getting longer and longer. So here's a dot point summary -

Coffee/pool later in the week

*I rang her on wednesday and suggested we "get a coffee or something" after she finished work. She sound surprised and happy to hear from me and said yes. So we ended up having a quick coffee and playing pool. later that day. +
*Unfortunately I don't think this went too well. The conversation wasn't flowing as easily and, well, we weren't exactly evenly matched. The first game wasn't too bad, I won by a ball but did partly throw the game. The second though...even when I tried to miss shots I seemed to get them in. So after a while I started designating pockets for particular balls to make it more difficult for me and to even the odds a bit. I think she was getting a bit frustrated with the game...and me, although... -

*at the same time I think she was impressed by how well I was playing (I'm not that good but this day I played really well...unfortunately). I also helped her with some difficult shots which she got thanks to my advice +

*After we left the pool hall she said she thinks she spends more time laughing than breathing when she's with me. I had been making a lot of bad jokes and cheesy banter while we were playing, but... +
*I still felt that she was a bit bored, let down a bit or at least not enjoying herself as much as the other night. -

*There was also a lot of physical contact, but... +
*no kiss. Or kisses plural. There were at least a few the other night... -

*She also said before we parted, that we were "two for two" or something, and after discussing new years plans I said I'd ring her when I finished work (working until around 10 - 11 on nye) +

I know the best thing for me to do would be to just stop thinking about it and go with the flow, but that's proving to be difficult. I'm just concerned that I'm heading for the friends zone...I mean, I look at the positives and negatives and on paper it seems unlikely but, it's just the small things...like, she said, as we were going to play pool, that I seem "like a guy who'd be really good to just chill with" or something along those lines...to me that suggests more of a friendship, but she was saying it as I had my arm around her! Eh...also, it seems to be a bit of a one way street in terms of initiating contact, but then it's only been a week, I said I'd call her on saturday, and we last saw each other only two days ago...I don't know, I'm probably overanalysing it. And this is my problem with girls, initially I am quite confident with them because I don't have anything to lose (it also helped in this case that I only knew one person at the party so there wasn't any social pressure), but after the initial contact goes well I kind of freak out and my social anxiety and complete lack of experience take over.

Hmm, well, sorry if I've wasted anyone's time...needed to vent. I think I've figured it out - I'm neurotic.

12-30-2005, 01:29 AM	#1 (permalink)
Hat Tilted Location: Adelaide, Australia	Hooray for social ineptitude and/or anxiety! I met a girl on Christmas night at a party. It went really well and we didn't leave each other's company until we were outside of her house at 7am the next morning. She volunteered her number. Great. Okay I've tried to write this post twice and it keeps getting longer and longer. So here's a dot point summary - Coffee/pool later in the week I rang her on wednesday and suggested we "get a coffee or something" after she finished work. She sound surprised and happy to hear from me and said yes. So we ended up having a quick coffee and playing pool. later that day. + Unfortunately I don't think this went too well. The conversation wasn't flowing as easily and, well, we weren't exactly evenly matched. The first game wasn't too bad, I won by a ball but did partly throw the game. The second though...even when I tried to miss shots I seemed to get them in. So after a while I started designating pockets for particular balls to make it more difficult for me and to even the odds a bit. I think she was getting a bit frustrated with the game...and me, although... - at the same time I think she was impressed by how well I was playing (I'm not that good but this day I played really well...unfortunately). I also helped her with some difficult shots which she got thanks to my advice + After we left the pool hall she said she thinks she spends more time laughing than breathing when she's with me. I had been making a lot of bad jokes and cheesy banter while we were playing, but... + I still felt that she was a bit bored, let down a bit or at least not enjoying herself as much as the other night. - There was also a lot of physical contact, but... + no kiss. Or kisses plural. There were at least a few the other night... - She also said before we parted, that we were "two for two" or something, and after discussing new years plans I said I'd ring her when I finished work (working until around 10 - 11 on nye) + I know the best thing for me to do would be to just stop thinking about it and go with the flow, but that's proving to be difficult. I'm just concerned that I'm heading for the friends zone...I mean, I look at the positives and negatives and on paper it seems unlikely but, it's just the small things...like, she said, as we were going to play pool, that I seem "like a guy who'd be really good to just chill with" or something along those lines...to me that suggests more of a friendship, but she was saying it as I had my arm around her! Eh...also, it seems to be a bit of a one way street in terms of initiating contact, but then it's only been a week, I said I'd call her on saturday, and we last saw each other only two days ago...I don't know, I'm probably overanalysing it. And this is my problem with girls, initially I am quite confident with them because I don't have anything to lose (it also helped in this case that I only knew one person at the party so there wasn't any social pressure), but after the initial contact goes well I kind of freak out and my social anxiety and complete lack of experience take over. Hmm, well, sorry if I've wasted anyone's time...needed to vent. I think I've figured it out - I'm neurotic.