Quadro and I went through phases like this in college - I'd get really needy or he would, and the phase would last a while and the other person would seriously irritated and many contentious arguments would ensue.
My advice - learn to love reading, or take up a new hobby - playing a guitar, or drawing, or something that you've always thought about but never tried. Learn to be okay on your own. And she will relax.
At that age... we just had a hard time finding the balance sometimes. This sounds pretty similar. If you aren't pushing her to call you all the time and being anxious about it - she'll call more. It's not about manipulating her to do what you want, it's just giving her the opportunity and the freedom to do things she already wants to do. I know that the more he pushes me to do something, the less likely I am to do it. Stupid stubborn pride - and it's not fair, he is often right - but sometimes, people just need a chance to do things themselves without the pressure. Give her a chance.
And don't be so hard on yourself - it's hard to be in that position too. It's very vulnerable, and not very comfortable, and the best of us have a hard time being logical at that point. Just take a deep breath, and put things into context/perspective. Try to not concentrate on being miserable.
