Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - How to uninvite someone who invited themselves along.

Jim Kata · 12-29-2005, 07:13 AM

Here is the situation.

A friend and I (we will call him "Steve") are going on a snowboarding trip this February. We are both flying out to Colorado and Utah to meet up with a good friend of ours (we will call "Jeff") that lives there. From there, we are probably going to stay at "Jeff's" friend's place since he lives on one of the mountains we will be boarding at.
I briefly mentioned this trip to a good friend of mine (that we will call "Allen"), and "Allen" said, "MAN!! Thats awesome I would love to go to Colorado, I've never been there. Keep me updated on when you are going."

I immediately said, "well we are gonna have a full car so I don't know if there is any room."

And Allen replied with, "Oh, well I guess I can rent my own car then"

So my dilemma is this.

1. I do not want to ask some guy I don't even know (Jeff's friend) if another person can crash there for 3 or 4 days, and don't want to have to ask Jeff to ask his friend that.
Jeff and Steve know Allen, but they aren't that close to him.

2. If Allen does end up coming, I'm sure he will want someone to ride in the car with him and me, steve, and jeff have planned this trip for months together since we all haven't been together for more than a few hours since we graduated high school (10 years ago). So I will want to stay with Steve and Jeff the whole time since they are my snowboarding buddies.

Any suggestions on how to get Allen to not come without being blunt about it? I feel uncomfortable saying "If you go out there, you are on your own for lodging and transportation." but feel that may be the only way to say it. He is the kind of guy that will be like "Why can't I stay with you guys at Jeff's friends house?" or "thats fucked up? i'm just one more person."

Another question is this....how do people do this kind of stuff? I rarely invite myself along anywhere. If I do and someone throws a bump in the road, I take it as a sign as a "we were kind of hoping to do this on our own" kind of thing and move on.

I hate bringing someone to someone elses house in the same town let alone a vacation. It makes no sense to me.

Thoughts?

12-29-2005, 07:13 AM	#1 (permalink)
Jim Kata Swollen Member Location: Northern VA	How to uninvite someone who invited themselves along. Here is the situation. A friend and I (we will call him "Steve") are going on a snowboarding trip this February. We are both flying out to Colorado and Utah to meet up with a good friend of ours (we will call "Jeff") that lives there. From there, we are probably going to stay at "Jeff's" friend's place since he lives on one of the mountains we will be boarding at. I briefly mentioned this trip to a good friend of mine (that we will call "Allen"), and "Allen" said, "MAN!! Thats awesome I would love to go to Colorado, I've never been there. Keep me updated on when you are going." I immediately said, "well we are gonna have a full car so I don't know if there is any room." And Allen replied with, "Oh, well I guess I can rent my own car then" So my dilemma is this. 1. I do not want to ask some guy I don't even know (Jeff's friend) if another person can crash there for 3 or 4 days, and don't want to have to ask Jeff to ask his friend that. Jeff and Steve know Allen, but they aren't that close to him. 2. If Allen does end up coming, I'm sure he will want someone to ride in the car with him and me, steve, and jeff have planned this trip for months together since we all haven't been together for more than a few hours since we graduated high school (10 years ago). So I will want to stay with Steve and Jeff the whole time since they are my snowboarding buddies. Any suggestions on how to get Allen to not come without being blunt about it? I feel uncomfortable saying "If you go out there, you are on your own for lodging and transportation." but feel that may be the only way to say it. He is the kind of guy that will be like "Why can't I stay with you guys at Jeff's friends house?" or "thats fucked up? i'm just one more person." Another question is this....how do people do this kind of stuff? I rarely invite myself along anywhere. If I do and someone throws a bump in the road, I take it as a sign as a "we were kind of hoping to do this on our own" kind of thing and move on. I hate bringing someone to someone elses house in the same town let alone a vacation. It makes no sense to me. Thoughts?