First of all, you posted this in the right place. Sexuality is where relationship questions go.
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Originally Posted by Dael
I really, genuinely need help and advice on how to deal with myself.
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This is brilliantly said. I acknowledge your maturity and responsibility here--it would be the easiest, most automatic thing in the world to lay this at her feet and make it all her fault. Thank you for not going there.
Here's the deal: we human beings have feelings. Our feelings aren't who we are. We HAVE feelings. Sometimes it seems like our feelings HAVE us, but that's not actually how it is. We have feelings like a car has power windows. The power windows aren't the car, they're just an accessory.
The ability to observe the processes of your mind, your thoughts and feelings, disassionately and from the outside is called Mindfulness. What you're looking for is a way to expand and improve your mindfulness. One of the best tools for that is meditation. Developing your mindfulness is not a short-term process, but there are benefits to meditation that show up almost immediately.
Read <a href="http://www.enabling.org/ia/vipassana/Archive/G/Gunaratana/MindfulnessIPE/">Mindfulness in Plain English</a>, which is about as good an introduction to Vipassana Mindfulness Meditation as you're going to find anywhere. It's available in deadtree format from Amazon, but the whole thing is available online, too.