Interesting side-thought: I have always been a little worried that if someone hasn't been with many people (including myself and my bf), after getting married he or she might regret not having explored more beforehand.
However, your situation is making me realize that this does not have to be the case.. that it's a more individual thing. If someone has a LOT of experience before monogamy, it still might not stop him or her from wanting sex with other people after marriage. Likewise, maybe if someone hasn't had much experience, they might not regret it after all. It just depends on the individual and their needs.
That said, I think it's hard for some of us to give you advice because we each have our own biases and experiences. Ratbastid, as usual, probably gave the most honest and helpful advice since you seem to share many characteristics with him.
I am wondering, though, what your wife's experience was before she met you, and does she ever share her fantasies and attractions with you? My bf and I talk sometimes about whether someone is hot, or what porn we have been looking at, and the openness increases communication and reduces temptation, I think. But again, that's just us...
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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