I took AP Theory in high school and some theory in college. I agree, theory is a structure or scaffold on which you can build, but it's not a rigid set of absolutes, no matter how bat-shit absolute your teacher may be about it.
Most classical music since 1900 has broken the rules. In fact, that's been the main rule for contemporary music. Ironically, rock and jazz are much more conservative in this regard than contemporary classical music. You break a rule in jazz and just watch the expression on the faces of the guys playing with you!
I've been playing a LOT of jazz piano lately. I've gotten to the point that I can basically vamp through a lead sheet on first sight. But recently I sat down with a score for the High School musical a friend is directing, and I couldn't sight-read it for a thing! I'm smarter now than I've ever been about chords, scales, and progressions, meanwhile I've totally forgotten how to sight-read piano music! Weird!
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