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Originally Posted by maleficent
There's the person who's a serial cheater -that's staying with the wife "for the sake of the kids" or it's just too expensive to get divorced... I'm sorry -that person deserves to be taken to the cleaners...
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So this person clearly can't see the bigger picture. They think they are doing the right thing by staying "for the sake of the kids" or whatever, and yes, that person needs a jolt (cleaned out in this case)... but that then gives the cheater the opportunity to see the error of his ways. They could realise the bigger picture, the reality of seeing how they have hurt another, and in reality was only hurting themself by not being honest and compromising themselves (thinking he had the best of both worlds whilst really only limiting his ability to find a truer happiness). Or, they could forever think they are justified because they were doing their partner a favour by "sticking around" for whatever reason.
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Originally Posted by maleficient
There's the person who picks up a boyfriend on the side because her husband was busy trying to build a life for them -- she didn't get the attention she got when they were dating -- so she had a boyfriend... Idon't have much sympathy for her either-- she should have opened her mouth rather than compound the problem...
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She learns the lesson (the hard way) of communication and honesty. I don't know how many times good advice here (tfp in general) is "communication"... I don't think it's something we are all injected with at birth... we need to learn it, and that relies mainly on how well we know ourselves, our self-esteem v's our fears, etc...
I'm not saying keel over and take a beating, take it all on. I just see where there can be more room for compassion and broader vision in these situations.