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Seeker · 12-15-2005, 02:40 PM

I think I'm having difficulty expressing the points I was/am trying to get to with this thread. I'd like to try and make it a bit clearer with this post.

We are all aware that the act of cheating in a relationship is a violation of trust and respect for the person that the cheater made a commitment to. Betrayal. It's not the physical act itself, it's the lie, deceit, lack of regard... etc, the betrayal. Doing something that you know is going to hurt the other party in the relationship, and it's a social given, it makes it wrong.

My take is that if someone knows the social code, and knows that 'cheating' is wrong and does it anyway, how are they fully right in their picnic basket? Despite the reputation they adopt, the social stoning and the 'less than human' treatment they receive, it still happens!

Cheating has and probably will happen for ages to come. Social outcasting hasn't changed that. Why? It's like beating your head against a brick wall... I don't think it's because the message didn't/doesn't get across.

My initial post was offering a different way of approaching it. We can't control the behaviour of others, but we can change our own perspectives so as to not make it such a painful and hate-ridden reality of life. Reality is what you make it.

For me personally, I see betrayal as an opportunity. An opportunity to look at myself and another and deal with it in a manner that I can accept and live comfortably with, without carrying an emotional suitcase of luggage around for the rest of my life.

When I see expressions of anger, hatred and disdain directed toward issues of cheating, in almost a racist way, I see countless people held hostage to past experiences of pain, and it's not making a scrap of difference. Cheating continues and no one is miraculously healed from their past experiences with it.

My intention here was to only offer a different perspective in which to deal with cheaters and cheating. This was an attempt to broaden the scope because I don't see the black & white, clear-cut model working. *shrugs*

12-15-2005, 02:40 PM	#27 (permalink)
Seeker Getting Clearer Location: with spirit	I think I'm having difficulty expressing the points I was/am trying to get to with this thread. I'd like to try and make it a bit clearer with this post. We are all aware that the act of cheating in a relationship is a violation of trust and respect for the person that the cheater made a commitment to. Betrayal. It's not the physical act itself, it's the lie, deceit, lack of regard... etc, the betrayal. Doing something that you know is going to hurt the other party in the relationship, and it's a social given, it makes it wrong. My take is that if someone knows the social code, and knows that 'cheating' is wrong and does it anyway, how are they fully right in their picnic basket? Despite the reputation they adopt, the social stoning and the 'less than human' treatment they receive, it still happens! Cheating has and probably will happen for ages to come. Social outcasting hasn't changed that. Why? It's like beating your head against a brick wall... I don't think it's because the message didn't/doesn't get across. My initial post was offering a different way of approaching it. We can't control the behaviour of others, but we can change our own perspectives so as to not make it such a painful and hate-ridden reality of life. Reality is what you make it. For me personally, I see betrayal as an opportunity. An opportunity to look at myself and another and deal with it in a manner that I can accept and live comfortably with, without carrying an emotional suitcase of luggage around for the rest of my life. When I see expressions of anger, hatred and disdain directed toward issues of cheating, in almost a racist way, I see countless people held hostage to past experiences of pain, and it's not making a scrap of difference. Cheating continues and no one is miraculously healed from their past experiences with it. My intention here was to only offer a different perspective in which to deal with cheaters and cheating. This was an attempt to broaden the scope because I don't see the black & white, clear-cut model working. shrugs __________________ *To those who wander but who are not lost...* ~ Knowledge is not something you acquire, it is something you open yourself to.